Why it's nice to be a
1: Your butt is never a factor in a job interview.
2: Your orgasms are real. Always.
3: Your last name stays put.
4: The garage is all yours.
5: Wedding plans take care of themselves.
6: You don't have to curl up next to a hairy butt
7: Chocolate is just another snack.
8: You can be president.
9: You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
10: You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
11: Car mechanics tell you the truth.
12: You don't care if someone notices your new
13: Hot wax never comes near your genitals.
14: You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's "just too icky."
15: Same work... more pay.
16: Wrinkles add character.
17: You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
18: Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
19: $1.50 a shirt for dry cleaning.
20: If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
21: People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
22: The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
23: New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
24: Porn movies are designed with you in mind.
25: Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
27: And, of course, the world is your urinal.