Never To Say During
1) Is it in?
2) That's it?
3) You've got to be kidding me.
4) (phone rings) Hello? oh nothing and you?
5) Do I have to pay for this?
6) Do I have to call you tomorrow?
7) Oh momma, momma!
8) Oh daddy, daddy!
9) You look better in the dark.
10) This is much better than my last
11) I thought that goes in the other hole....
12) Don't tell my husband/wife.
13) You have the same bra my mom does (worse if
the girl says it).
14) This sucks.
15) Can you finish now? I have a meeting...
16) I hope you don't expect a raise for
17) I think you might get the job for this.
18) Damn! is that all you know what to do.
19) Did I tell you, I have herpes?
20) Now we must get married.
21) Hurry up, the games about to start.
22) I'm hungry.
23) I'm thirsty.
25) Are you trying to be funny?
26) Can I have a ride home after this?
27) Are those real?
28) By the way, I want to break up.
29) Is that smell coming from you?
30) Haven't you ever done this before?
31) Wow!! I've never seen those before (then
32) Do you know what some female spiders do after
33) You're so much like your sister....
34) Your mom's cute.
35) What's your name again?
36) Do I have to be here in the morning?
37) A second time? I barely stayed awake the
38) But you just started!!
39) You're about as good as a 9 year old, and I
40) Don't touch that!!
41) Can we order a pizza?
42) I think my dad is listening at the door.
43) Smile for the camera, honey!!!
44) Take off that damn monkey glove!!
45) Get your hand out of there!!
46) I think the condom broke 10 minutes ago.
47) I knew you wore a padded bra!!
48) Cover me boys, I'm going in!!!
49) DIVE! DIVE! DIVE!
50) Fire one!
51) God, that is small!!
52) Hold on, let me change the channel...
53) Who smells like fish?
54) Is it o.k. if my mom (and/or dad) joins
55) Your best-friend does it much better.
56) Hope you don't mind I left my boots on.
57) Hurry up, the motor's runnin'.
58) You're fogging up the wind-shield.
59) Can I borrow 5 bucks?
60) What the hell noise was that?!
61) Stop moaning, you sound so stupid.
62) Shut up, bitch! (worse if the girl says
63) You know, you're not really attractive.
64) I'm sorry, I was not listening.
65) What, oh yea, I love you too, now let me
66) Stop interrupting me!!
67) I have to take a shit.
68) Did I leave the iron on?
69) Your breath is funky.
70) (Start singing Green Day).
71) Is it o.k. if I call someone, its o.k.
though, keep going....
72) Its ok honey, I can imagine that its
73) God I wish you were a real woman.
75) By the way, when I drove over here, I ran
over your dog....
76) Oh Susan, Susan... I mean donna.... shit.
77) Your breast milk is like my mom's....
78) You're hairy!!
79) Your "happy trail" led me to a dead end.
80) Is it o.k. if I never see you again?
81) Did I forget to tell you I got worms from my
82) Don't make that face at me!
83) All of a sudden I have a headache.
84) You're boring.
85) I like your tits.
86) Suck my dick.
87) How much do I owe you?
88) How come we each have a penis?
89) Of course you can't be on top, you're too
fat, you'll kill me!
92) Does your family have to watch?
93) We'll try again later when you can satisfy me
94) Get off me, I'll do it myself!!!!
95) Can you hold this sandwich for me?
96) You're as soft as a sheep, inside and
97) The only reason I'm doing this is because I'm
98) My mom taught me this.....
99) How cute... peach fuzz!
100) Damn girl! my tits are bigger than
101) Should I ask why you're bleeding?
102) This is my pet rat, Larry....
103) If you can't do it, I'll find someone else
104) I haven't had this much sex since I was a
105) I was once a woman...
106) Wanna see me take out my glass eye?
107) No I don't love your mind, I can't grab
108) Is it o.k. if I tell my friends about
109) I'm sobering up and you're getting ugly!
110) You wanted me to use a condom?
111) You're no better than my brother!!
113) Fire in the hole!!!
114) I wanna see how many quarters I can fit in
116) O.k. start...oh! that feels so... YOU'RE
117) You ever see basic instinct?
118) I'm out of condoms, can I use a sock?
119) Don't squirm, you'll spill my beer.
120) Did I tell you where my cold sore came
121) You got boogies showing.
122) (Start reciting the 10 commandments).
123) I think I just shit on your bed.
124) Of course I don't love you.
125) Let me spell it out for you, b-r-e-a-t-h